Tag: #EXCUSES

IF ONLY

This is one from my book Poems from the trap volume 1. I don’t always talk about nefarious activities, it gets emotional too, but don’t get it twisted

Give me one more chance and I’ll write all my wrongs, give me one more chance and I’ll write you a song

I’ll tell the world that you are my universe, I’ll tell the stars that you cum first

You can look at my sleeves & see tattoo tears, If you look in my eyes you’ll see a lot of regret and wishing you were here

I been working my way back to you
I’m six two but my soul grew and my common sense too

Y’all come first over everything in existence, It was a revolution and I didn’t miss it

Black love is the most beautiful on Earth and a black woman is the mother of birth

No blessings will come to me until I do right by you, and I pray I can fall asleep every night next to you

Dear higher power please hear my words, I came back from the edge to be what they deserve

#LEXICONKILLER


BE BETTER

This is going to be the most hater thing you ever heard me say, so I’mma go ahead and accept the fact that I’m hating today

when I came down those steps and saw another suitor in your face, I wanted to reach back to when we were together and swing from that place but I had to let dude be because I already was out on bond for a open case

I walked real close hoping you told him something I did and he wanted to defend your honor, I was fully prepared to smack his lips back in time to go look for Sarah Conner

Then I realized two things in that one instance, I guess I am childish and kind of understood why you didn’t want to go the distance, I damn near cried that night but we were deep so I resisted

When I got to the house I rolled a stocking stuffer, looked in the mirror and said you had one job mother fucker, that’s when the plan started formulating, in the beginning I was horrible pretty much just emulating, over the years I’ve stepped into my own, now I understand the importance of protecting that throne, don’t be like me go ahead and fix it now, because one day you might find yourself in your emotions sounding like Drake in front of a crowd

#LEXICONKILLER


TRUTH OR DARE

When I got bigger than the bullies I became leader of the pack, you whip one kid ass and they see you not going for that, I had kids that used to beat me up breaking in hostess trucks for snacks, power rush..  I think I’m addicted to that

I was beard gang at 15 years old, I used to walk into U-totem to get my beer because it was cold, I used to get my Newports from 7-Eleven though and my XXX magazines, at this point I was trying to show grown ladies moves they never seen

Don’t blame the clerk’s or the women, whoever remember I kept gold coins to go swimming, but what had more effect were those every other weekend visits dwindling, plus relations at 12 gave me the confidence of any man to pick my vices off the shelf, balcony at school I’m such a good planner, that’s the day I became the Hulk and erased Bruce Banner.. virginity story if you’re a slow understander

A lot of the stuff I write you have to read slow and listen fast, more than likely if you don’t understand I’m using an analogy about sex crime or cash, 6 out of 10 times if it’s heartfelt than you know the situation and know I’m not chasing any clout just anticipation, the other four times I’m probably in the 5th dimension wondering about a black owned plantation

#LEXICONKILLER



OH

I used to be brutally honest but then you turn me into a liar, I fell in love with you but pimp juice wasn’t ready to retire, I had a stable full I was a V12 raging bull, they were gullwing but not doors; I’m trying to say I was running through whores, but I had a princess at home who was strong as lumber I told them about you before I even got a phone number, I think that made them want me even more, I was five letters away from a perfect alphabet score yeah LMNOP fell like in 03; but I always told them the truth because I cared about you, and the first time they said anything  disrespectful we were through, oh ok yeah I think I get it now that I said it out loud, the crazy thing is I started writing this proud, and now I’m doubting whether or not I should even give it to the crowd


LEXICON KILLER

My mind drifts and wonders like Stevie when he’s trying to ponder what lies on the other side of darkness out yonder

Conversations on a constant loop perfect form ready for a shot to shoot is it a new script or a reboot it’s a reality show not the goof troop

If I said it then I mean it but I have a tendency to change my mind so if I said it I meant it at that particular time but the future has a tendency of making my thoughts rewind

Coulda shoulda woulda is the wave that I ride it’s a damn shame I took myself through hell for a man to arrive karma is funny because you had to leave for me to be alive I never would have changed if you stayed passive by my side you killed the relationship but I survived through the smoke you can see the Phoenix rise



A HUNDO

I know I love her but I’m starting to doubt myself, see she has four kids; the biggest reason why I put the proposal on the shelf

I know I’m ready to be the man she needs me to be, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to have a whole family, that’s a huge responsibility to take on when I only have one, hell I can’t propose now I’m in a custody battle thats not even done

Plus you don’t understand my child’s mama, if she found out I was taking on four kids she would blow like Osama, another reason why I doubt myself is she gets included in everything, even a conversation with myself about buying you a ring

I’m not sure if I could stand the temptation of not trying to right wrongs from my past, and your kids deserve more than to be in a rotating cast, I do love her enough to know she deserves to be happy forever, but I’m not sure if I wont go when I get that call to put the fam back together

EMOTIONAL SUICIDE 💔

This rainy weather has me wondering what to do, I swear I’m out here talking like it’s just me and you

My muse is my monster that I created from nights I should have just masturbated

Nights I could have just come home lonely, but it was damn near impossible with all these females on me

I gave in to temptation like a sodomite, two eights make a sixteen and they down to dyke

Instances like that tipped the scale, or when I would be verbally abusive coming home ripped as hell

You can go ahead and leave this is not an abduction, have you ever seen someone’s eyes turn to hate from seduction ?

Those tears turned into laughter and the more she pulled away the more I ran after but I was never fast enough to recapture

The closest I’ve come is love letters and apologies, oh and Poems from The Trap Vol. 1 the anthology

VIRGINIA IS FOR LOVERS

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my thoughts ✍🏾✍🏾✍🏾

DRUGZ..  how many of us need them??  DRUGZ… How many of us use them?? .. DRUGZ… How many of us need them?? Let’s be real

Everybody has a vice, some are accepted and some make people look twice, some roll up to forget and be at ease, some pop pills and blame it on their knees, one time I talked to a dude that huffed freon, I just listened as he told me about the high he on

Some break out the skis and go on holiday, not Christmas but Doc they act erratic in a way, others travel with a tourniquet and have to tie off to get their blast, if they aspirate this will be their last

Some people argue whether or not this one should qualify, but it has to be a drug if you keep drinking after your first D.U.I, you can chalk it up as just having too much fun, but it has to be a drug at least when you catch your second one, you figured it out so now you only drink at home, only problem is you drove everyone away so now you’re all alone

Not to leave anyone out we got the hardest working on the list, sell their daughters laptop for ten minutes worth of bliss, can fix the engine on everything from a 72 Impala to a Rolls-Royce wraith, swear on his mama grave and he was with her yesterday, come on baby I got you when my check come on payday, needless to say a week later he got the beats by Dre

DRUGZ..  how many of us need them??  DRUGZ… How many of us use them?? .. DRUGZ… How many of us need them?? Let’s be real

CEE NOVA DICHOTOMY

Hi my name is Nova; I’m addicted to everything, red bones, money phones, indica and sleeping alone

Hi my name is Nova; I’m addicted to everything, attention whore, jewelery store, couple cars, we need more

Hi my name in Nova I’m addicted to everything, fresh out Riverside regional ready to let my nuts hang, gotta a girl that say she love me and imma try my best, but I’m addicted to double D’s on every girls chest

Hi my name is Nova a certified problem, I get this guy into all kind of conundrums sit back and see if he can solve em

Hi my name is Cee; I’m addicted to everything my family, my son, sativa, the peace it bring

Hi my name is Cee; I’m addicted to everything mental health, mental wealth and memories on a shelf

Hi my name is Cee, and I gotta fix everything grandiose asshole did, I had to use all of his money to fight to see our kid, Hi my name is Cee, I’m a proud black father, I refuse to raise another Nova I’m shooting for a road scholar, a Titan of industry or artist like me, I will bend reality to manifest his destiny

Hi my name is Cee I’m a reformed womanizer, I had to go through hell to become a black love realiser, Hi my name is Cee and I played with a lot of hearts, it’s one in particular I have to fix that I tore apart, Hi my name is Cee I’m on a mission for redemption I came from the bottom bear witness to my ascension