FAMβ€’Iβ€’LY 2020

Only time we’re at piece is at funerals, every other time we’re judging each other like tribunals, that one fake, this one a snake, watch that one cause you know what they take

Fake hugs fake concern and fake speech, they’ll stab you in the back before somebody off the street, if you have a moral compass it’s hard to compete plus they don’t feel like you’ll bust their head to the white meat

Call something out and they’ll label you an asshole, like you only existed in the present and not the past though, to be honest we really don’t even like each other, we only fake it for the grandmother

You know how they are is cancer to my ears, you can accept it but I don’t have to be here, transfer that loyalty to the one that I made, and if it’s a problem we can run the fade



I have to move through life like I have a hundred bricks on me at all times, I can’t drift and drive I have to stay  between the lines, I have to remember that I’m always going to be the aggressor even in situations where I had to apply no pressure, 6′ 2″ 220 bald head black male with a beard, I’m the usual suspect and I just got here, my tattoos automatically mean thug Life, but if you look closer all you’ll see is my child and my future wife, yes I do feel like I need a gun because I’m going to get shot in the back if I run, give me the same dignity that you give Tommie the dog, you can’t be mad at me because my mind is digital and you stuck on analog, I hold doors and take my elders groceries in the house, I just want you to know I’m tired of being emasculated and why I might want to punch you in the mouth



When I got bigger than the bullies I became leader of the pack, you whip one kid ass and they see you not going for that, I had kids that used to beat me up breaking in hostess trucks for snacks, power rush..  I think I’m addicted to that

I was beard gang at 15 years old, I used to walk into U-totem to get my beer because it was cold, I used to get my Newports from 7-Eleven though and my XXX magazines, at this point I was trying to show grown ladies moves they never seen

Don’t blame the clerk’s or the women, whoever remember I kept gold coins to go swimming, but what had more effect were those every other weekend visits dwindling, plus relations at 12 gave me the confidence of any man to pick my vices off the shelf, balcony at school I’m such a good planner, that’s the day I became the Hulk and erased Bruce Banner.. virginity story if you’re a slow understander

A lot of the stuff I write you have to read slow and listen fast, more than likely if you don’t understand I’m using an analogy about sex crime or cash, 6 out of 10 times if it’s heartfelt than you know the situation and know I’m not chasing any clout just anticipation, the other four times I’m probably in the 5th dimension wondering about a black owned plantation



I pick up this pen and turn into a serial killer again, who’s gonna catch it the hate or something from within, life really deserves it for these conundrums I face, but you good cuz at least I don’t have any open case, I could go after the Ex’s that used to sex me and let go of some of these frustrations that still vex me, but I’m a changed man now so I let bygones be bygones, I try my best to meditate and press on and bless on, or I could go at the judicial, but I made that mistake one time before and they definitely hold it against you.. and just for the record I don’t want any issue, so I guess it’s Nova Dex versus one of his demons, that means I’m about to write something that you won’t believe that I was seeing, but trust me it’s just a day in the life of an  extraordinary human being



I used to be brutally honest but then you turn me into a liar, I fell in love with you but pimp juice wasn’t ready to retire, I had a stable full I was a V12 raging bull, they were gullwing but not doors; I’m trying to say I was running through whores, but I had a princess at home who was strong as lumber I told them about you before I even got a phone number, I think that made them want me even more, I was five letters away from a perfect alphabet score yeah LMNOP fell like in 03; but I always told them the truth because I cared about you, and the first time they said anythingΒ  disrespectful we were through, oh ok yeah I think I get it now that I said it out loud, the crazy thing is I started writing this proud, and now I’m doubting whether or not I should even give it to the crowd


I study women and you’re another chapter in the book Y’all pretty much the same with different nuances at a closer look

Attention to detail tells me everything I need to know I haven’t seen the crazy yet but it’s there this I know

Facial expressions give it all away you tremble your top lip and stutter when you have a rough day

You challenge me when you want me to take things seriously and you act coy when you want a DNA delivery I believe if I left you would invoke misery and make my future worse than my history