PROTAGONISTIC VICTIM STANCE

She likes dope boys so you never really had a chance she let you get close because she still wanted romance, I think it bothers her because neither will ever be what the other need, only reason I know is because she tells me when we’re smoking weed

Yeah she smoke too and roll like she grew up in Cuba… sideline, was she in the band because her lips move like she playing a tuba; nevermind T.M.I. here I am talking crazy when you’re about to cry

You seem like a nice guy so this is what I’mma do, I’ll block her and I’ll block you too so that way you won’t get drunk one night in your feelings and your call come through, try to save both of us from something we probably don’t want to do

No hard feelings I totally get your position bruh, this the first time you stuck to your intuition huh, imma do you one better and disappear, now I’m depending on you to make her not reappear

#LEXICONKILLER




BE BETTER

This is going to be the most hater thing you ever heard me say, so I’mma go ahead and accept the fact that I’m hating today

when I came down those steps and saw another suitor in your face, I wanted to reach back to when we were together and swing from that place but I had to let dude be because I already was out on bond for a open case

I walked real close hoping you told him something I did and he wanted to defend your honor, I was fully prepared to smack his lips back in time to go look for Sarah Conner

Then I realized two things in that one instance, I guess I am childish and kind of understood why you didn’t want to go the distance, I damn near cried that night but we were deep so I resisted

When I got to the house I rolled a stocking stuffer, looked in the mirror and said you had one job mother fucker, that’s when the plan started formulating, in the beginning I was horrible pretty much just emulating, over the years I’ve stepped into my own, now I understand the importance of protecting that throne, don’t be like me go ahead and fix it now, because one day you might find yourself in your emotions sounding like Drake in front of a crowd

#LEXICONKILLER


A HUNDO

I know I love her but I’m starting to doubt myself, see she has four kids; the biggest reason why I put the proposal on the shelf

I know I’m ready to be the man she needs me to be, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to have a whole family, that’s a huge responsibility to take on when I only have one, hell I can’t propose now I’m in a custody battle thats not even done

Plus you don’t understand my child’s mama, if she found out I was taking on four kids she would blow like Osama, another reason why I doubt myself is she gets included in everything, even a conversation with myself about buying you a ring

I’m not sure if I could stand the temptation of not trying to right wrongs from my past, and your kids deserve more than to be in a rotating cast, I do love her enough to know she deserves to be happy forever, but I’m not sure if I wont go when I get that call to put the fam back together

TEDDY BEAR 🧸

It’s been a lot of Thanksgiving since You’ve been gone, but this one hurts especially bad because it’s been too long, too long for reconciliation, too long for a phone call anticipation, the worse part about it is I actually changed, you’d be surprised, black love dominates every part of my body, down to my big vein, if you gave me 8 minutes and 28 seconds I could explain, you wouldn’t even have to hear my voice, until it was up to you, your choice, it’s much easier to communicate without text messages or in boxes, those things usually come back up and make for interesting paradoxes, I heard you saw my mans and them and not one question, I had to ask if it look like you were stressed and I heard so guess you still you you want me to tell the truth or you want me to spare your insides  ? because really she look better than that girl that I saw you with outside, so yeah I guess you still you, but enough about me and the things I put you through, how’s my little superhero ? Still dominating on the court ? Still making goals? We made an all sport, well this was kind of long for a letter with no address, anyway Happy Thanksgiving God bless

CEE NOVA DICHOTOMY

Hi my name is Nova; I’m addicted to everything, red bones, money phones, indica and sleeping alone

Hi my name is Nova; I’m addicted to everything, attention whore, jewelery store, couple cars, we need more

Hi my name in Nova I’m addicted to everything, fresh out Riverside regional ready to let my nuts hang, gotta a girl that say she love me and imma try my best, but I’m addicted to double D’s on every girls chest

Hi my name is Nova a certified problem, I get this guy into all kind of conundrums sit back and see if he can solve em

Hi my name is Cee; I’m addicted to everything my family, my son, sativa, the peace it bring

Hi my name is Cee; I’m addicted to everything mental health, mental wealth and memories on a shelf

Hi my name is Cee, and I gotta fix everything grandiose asshole did, I had to use all of his money to fight to see our kid, Hi my name is Cee, I’m a proud black father, I refuse to raise another Nova I’m shooting for a road scholar, a Titan of industry or artist like me, I will bend reality to manifest his destiny

Hi my name is Cee I’m a reformed womanizer, I had to go through hell to become a black love realiser, Hi my name is Cee and I played with a lot of hearts, it’s one in particular I have to fix that I tore apart, Hi my name is Cee I’m on a mission for redemption I came from the bottom bear witness to my ascension

FIX ME

How can you fix me if I don’t even know what’s wrong with me myself and I’m not going to the doctor I can handle my own mental health

Every time I break pattern you think it’s because I have something to hide when in actuality I had a lot on my mind and I just needed to ride free my mind focus inside

Apparently you’re never going to forget or forgive about the past, therefore I exercise my right to terminate my contract  and leave this cast, now you can sleep and play those games on your phone the same way you made me want to be which is  alone, arrivederci, adios, I’m leaving this dictatorship situation, you doing all that snooping and didn’t see your friends been waiting on my emancipation

BALL & CHAIN

I love her because she doesn’t except anything but the best from me if she feels like I’m not trying she won’t be complacent with less from me and she doesn’t need me monetarily

From the outside it looks like she’s always riding my back but most times I’m procrastinating and she loves me enough not to go for that

Only the two of us know everything that really transpires, both of us hurt each other pull out cans and fan the fires, sometimes I have too much fun and need a P.O. sometimes I need someone to tell me places not to go, she has a good heart and a nerd like Steve Urkel, luckily she has me to pluck squares out of her circle

Pillow talk and the dreams we share in common fuel the fire our twin flames burn in our soul, we’re on some other other shit which makes us love bold, we say things we don’t mean just to be the one upper, things that make me order out and not eat her supper, everybody loves both of us so they try and intervene, but we’re trying something new conflict resolution over Wintergreen, it’s been working please continue to pray for us, we got this just please stay out the way of us

THERAPY

I’m nice with a pen it comes from within my whole life I tried to pretend but it comes back again and again

I don’t know how to explain it but over the years I’ve maintained it and retained it and used it for my entertainment

I write love letters from the darkest place on Earth when they get opened  the feeling is love and rebirth tell me your story and I can find your voice but to be honest you really don’t have a choice

When we talk I can feel your spirit it effects my vibe without me having to be near it I don’t hear words I see stanzas so when you read what I write it’s not that random

If I can do that off of a conversation than imagine what I carry from the ones that rely on me for their emancipation

I look at it as a gift and a curse I can articulate pain but it gets much worse a part of the hurt never releases from my soul the gift aspect however is I have books sold without doing what I was told

UNDERTONE

I have an affinity for red women that harbor aggression, I find them to be teachers of life’s lessons, forks in the road at certain intersections, a road map of no certain direction a constant source of mental erections, forget the heart on your sleeve you need a blood pressure monitor I think your blood is boiling because you’re red as a thermometer, expressions don’t get held well, in my mind I can literally hear you telling me to go to hell, I can read your face that’s why I know the right response, give me a second and I’ll say something that came out the Renaissance, the path of least resistance, the road I travel with persistence, I’m trying to save you so you can save us, come tell me your desires and hush that fuss, I have an affinity for red women that harbor aggression, you don’t have to ask consider this my confession