Tag: Motivation

THINKING OUT LOUD

I stay alive for a living, every morning my eyes open is Thanksgiving, when I go to sleep I’m fighting to beat the night, if my conscious mind comes back I got another chance to make it write, I got another chance to make these words flow, I got another chance to come up with a combination and syllable count to make your mind blow, I’m out here creating literary gymnastics, look back at my catalog I spit that super fantastic, that get back break up, I hate you make up, a womanizers wake up, trying to teach these kids how to get that cake up, I been nice I just been keeping it a secret, everything I right is between me and you and that’s how I want to keep it

A HUNDO

I know I love her but I’m starting to doubt myself, see she has four kids; the biggest reason why I put the proposal on the shelf

I know I’m ready to be the man she needs me to be, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to have a whole family, that’s a huge responsibility to take on when I only have one, hell I can’t propose now I’m in a custody battle thats not even done

Plus you don’t understand my child’s mama, if she found out I was taking on four kids she would blow like Osama, another reason why I doubt myself is she gets included in everything, even a conversation with myself about buying you a ring

I’m not sure if I could stand the temptation of not trying to right wrongs from my past, and your kids deserve more than to be in a rotating cast, I do love her enough to know she deserves to be happy forever, but I’m not sure if I wont go when I get that call to put the fam back together

TEDDY BEAR 🧸

It’s been a lot of Thanksgiving since You’ve been gone, but this one hurts especially bad because it’s been too long, too long for reconciliation, too long for a phone call anticipation, the worse part about it is I actually changed, you’d be surprised, black love dominates every part of my body, down to my big vein, if you gave me 8 minutes and 28 seconds I could explain, you wouldn’t even have to hear my voice, until it was up to you, your choice, it’s much easier to communicate without text messages or in boxes, those things usually come back up and make for interesting paradoxes, I heard you saw my mans and them and not one question, I had to ask if it look like you were stressed and I heard so guess you still you you want me to tell the truth or you want me to spare your insides  ? because really she look better than that girl that I saw you with outside, so yeah I guess you still you, but enough about me and the things I put you through, how’s my little superhero ? Still dominating on the court ? Still making goals? We made an all sport, well this was kind of long for a letter with no address, anyway Happy Thanksgiving God bless

EMOTIONAL SUICIDE 💔

This rainy weather has me wondering what to do, I swear I’m out here talking like it’s just me and you

My muse is my monster that I created from nights I should have just masturbated

Nights I could have just come home lonely, but it was damn near impossible with all these females on me

I gave in to temptation like a sodomite, two eights make a sixteen and they down to dyke

Instances like that tipped the scale, or when I would be verbally abusive coming home ripped as hell

You can go ahead and leave this is not an abduction, have you ever seen someone’s eyes turn to hate from seduction ?

Those tears turned into laughter and the more she pulled away the more I ran after but I was never fast enough to recapture

The closest I’ve come is love letters and apologies, oh and Poems from The Trap Vol. 1 the anthology

VIRGINIA IS FOR LOVERS

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my thoughts ✍🏾✍🏾✍🏾

DRUGZ..  how many of us need them??  DRUGZ… How many of us use them?? .. DRUGZ… How many of us need them?? Let’s be real

Everybody has a vice, some are accepted and some make people look twice, some roll up to forget and be at ease, some pop pills and blame it on their knees, one time I talked to a dude that huffed freon, I just listened as he told me about the high he on

Some break out the skis and go on holiday, not Christmas but Doc they act erratic in a way, others travel with a tourniquet and have to tie off to get their blast, if they aspirate this will be their last

Some people argue whether or not this one should qualify, but it has to be a drug if you keep drinking after your first D.U.I, you can chalk it up as just having too much fun, but it has to be a drug at least when you catch your second one, you figured it out so now you only drink at home, only problem is you drove everyone away so now you’re all alone

Not to leave anyone out we got the hardest working on the list, sell their daughters laptop for ten minutes worth of bliss, can fix the engine on everything from a 72 Impala to a Rolls-Royce wraith, swear on his mama grave and he was with her yesterday, come on baby I got you when my check come on payday, needless to say a week later he got the beats by Dre

DRUGZ..  how many of us need them??  DRUGZ… How many of us use them?? .. DRUGZ… How many of us need them?? Let’s be real

CEE NOVA DICHOTOMY

Hi my name is Nova; I’m addicted to everything, red bones, money phones, indica and sleeping alone

Hi my name is Nova; I’m addicted to everything, attention whore, jewelery store, couple cars, we need more

Hi my name in Nova I’m addicted to everything, fresh out Riverside regional ready to let my nuts hang, gotta a girl that say she love me and imma try my best, but I’m addicted to double D’s on every girls chest

Hi my name is Nova a certified problem, I get this guy into all kind of conundrums sit back and see if he can solve em

Hi my name is Cee; I’m addicted to everything my family, my son, sativa, the peace it bring

Hi my name is Cee; I’m addicted to everything mental health, mental wealth and memories on a shelf

Hi my name is Cee, and I gotta fix everything grandiose asshole did, I had to use all of his money to fight to see our kid, Hi my name is Cee, I’m a proud black father, I refuse to raise another Nova I’m shooting for a road scholar, a Titan of industry or artist like me, I will bend reality to manifest his destiny

Hi my name is Cee I’m a reformed womanizer, I had to go through hell to become a black love realiser, Hi my name is Cee and I played with a lot of hearts, it’s one in particular I have to fix that I tore apart, Hi my name is Cee I’m on a mission for redemption I came from the bottom bear witness to my ascension

THE STOP: LIFE & TIMES OF YA BOY (PART 2)

So I’m in the backseat handcuffs on my wrist, I can still feel em everytime I think about this

At this point I’m getting compliments about my choice of firearm and how it could defeat the armor they had on, I’m like yeah unfortunately that’s gonna be about the eighth one gone, everytime this happen y’all take  one bruh, so I’m guessing my baby eagle gone huh

I just got out from my second one, three months later I catch my third, I’m still on probation for the second one; yeah this is absurd, on to booking we go, if they give me a bond it’ll be high because of my other case, lucky for me I got enough in my pocket to get me, fuk face

Hear the clink in the morning then the bright lights, I’m about to go in front of the monitor and roll the dice, come on hard six not trying to take a cold shower for lice, got a lecture then he put twenty on my head, that’s cool I got over two in property like I previously said

First phonecall I know this number by heart, it’s a dub I got the ten in property go ahead and make the paperwork start, oh and call to see if you can catch my car, they were being difficult said they were taking it out far

Finally twelve hours later I’m back in control, returning missed calls telling a copy of a story I already told, Khalid before Khalid another one, same folks same jurisdiction; this should be fun

THE STOP: LIFE & TIMES OF YA BOY (PART 1)

So I hop in the car throw the food in the seat, put my seatbelt on and Gucci Mane on repeat, I pulled out the parking lot took a right, saw a car come from out of  nowhere in my peripheral sight

I got to the stop sign make sure I make a complete stop just in case it is a sheriff or a city cop, ease off, so far things going my way; that’s all until I hit the signal to freedom to get on the highway

BOOM!! there it is they light me up, I pull over slow to drink this goose I had in a cup, FUK!! I got a salary on me, my smoke pack, and a 40 caliber eagle under the seat with black talons in it by my feet, look in the rearview I’m counting seven sets of lights on me, yep it’s apparent you’re going in tonight homey

One comes to the window with a shakey pistol damn near shoot my ass, I know the drill left hand throw keys out the window fast, sir I have a gun under the seat I didn’t want to pull it in plain view, but hold up wait a minute.. I know you..?? I’m out on bond now braah you made it two

CONGRATULATIONS super cop now you got me on two, nah no need to take a test I’ll wait on my lawyer I think that would be best, and can you please put your pistol at rest I’m nervous that you’re nervous and pointing at my chest

LET IT LONE

Let it lone time to turn the page go to the hobby store and buy you some sage, let the pain dissipate, in the fuk shit you don’t have to participate, take that energy and transform it into a tangible entity, the universe will place everything at your feet you don’t have to search for chemistry, it’s easy to lose yourself replaying prior events when you do that you welcome memories of nonsense, I’m not just speaking from an outside view, believe it or not I’ve played the fool a time or two, I’m just trying to give you the cheat code for everything I’ve been through, remember I’ve survived a terrorist and her insurgent crew