Tag: insight

A HUNDO

I know I love her but I’m starting to doubt myself, see she has four kids; the biggest reason why I put the proposal on the shelf

I know I’m ready to be the man she needs me to be, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to have a whole family, that’s a huge responsibility to take on when I only have one, hell I can’t propose now I’m in a custody battle thats not even done

Plus you don’t understand my child’s mama, if she found out I was taking on four kids she would blow like Osama, another reason why I doubt myself is she gets included in everything, even a conversation with myself about buying you a ring

I’m not sure if I could stand the temptation of not trying to right wrongs from my past, and your kids deserve more than to be in a rotating cast, I do love her enough to know she deserves to be happy forever, but I’m not sure if I wont go when I get that call to put the fam back together

TEDDY BEAR 🧸

It’s been a lot of Thanksgiving since You’ve been gone, but this one hurts especially bad because it’s been too long, too long for reconciliation, too long for a phone call anticipation, the worse part about it is I actually changed, you’d be surprised, black love dominates every part of my body, down to my big vein, if you gave me 8 minutes and 28 seconds I could explain, you wouldn’t even have to hear my voice, until it was up to you, your choice, it’s much easier to communicate without text messages or in boxes, those things usually come back up and make for interesting paradoxes, I heard you saw my mans and them and not one question, I had to ask if it look like you were stressed and I heard so guess you still you you want me to tell the truth or you want me to spare your insides  ? because really she look better than that girl that I saw you with outside, so yeah I guess you still you, but enough about me and the things I put you through, how’s my little superhero ? Still dominating on the court ? Still making goals? We made an all sport, well this was kind of long for a letter with no address, anyway Happy Thanksgiving God bless

VIRGINIA IS FOR LOVERS

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my thoughts ✍🏾✍🏾✍🏾

DRUGZ..  how many of us need them??  DRUGZ… How many of us use them?? .. DRUGZ… How many of us need them?? Let’s be real

Everybody has a vice, some are accepted and some make people look twice, some roll up to forget and be at ease, some pop pills and blame it on their knees, one time I talked to a dude that huffed freon, I just listened as he told me about the high he on

Some break out the skis and go on holiday, not Christmas but Doc they act erratic in a way, others travel with a tourniquet and have to tie off to get their blast, if they aspirate this will be their last

Some people argue whether or not this one should qualify, but it has to be a drug if you keep drinking after your first D.U.I, you can chalk it up as just having too much fun, but it has to be a drug at least when you catch your second one, you figured it out so now you only drink at home, only problem is you drove everyone away so now you’re all alone

Not to leave anyone out we got the hardest working on the list, sell their daughters laptop for ten minutes worth of bliss, can fix the engine on everything from a 72 Impala to a Rolls-Royce wraith, swear on his mama grave and he was with her yesterday, come on baby I got you when my check come on payday, needless to say a week later he got the beats by Dre

DRUGZ..  how many of us need them??  DRUGZ… How many of us use them?? .. DRUGZ… How many of us need them?? Let’s be real

CEE NOVA DICHOTOMY

Hi my name is Nova; I’m addicted to everything, red bones, money phones, indica and sleeping alone

Hi my name is Nova; I’m addicted to everything, attention whore, jewelery store, couple cars, we need more

Hi my name in Nova I’m addicted to everything, fresh out Riverside regional ready to let my nuts hang, gotta a girl that say she love me and imma try my best, but I’m addicted to double D’s on every girls chest

Hi my name is Nova a certified problem, I get this guy into all kind of conundrums sit back and see if he can solve em

Hi my name is Cee; I’m addicted to everything my family, my son, sativa, the peace it bring

Hi my name is Cee; I’m addicted to everything mental health, mental wealth and memories on a shelf

Hi my name is Cee, and I gotta fix everything grandiose asshole did, I had to use all of his money to fight to see our kid, Hi my name is Cee, I’m a proud black father, I refuse to raise another Nova I’m shooting for a road scholar, a Titan of industry or artist like me, I will bend reality to manifest his destiny

Hi my name is Cee I’m a reformed womanizer, I had to go through hell to become a black love realiser, Hi my name is Cee and I played with a lot of hearts, it’s one in particular I have to fix that I tore apart, Hi my name is Cee I’m on a mission for redemption I came from the bottom bear witness to my ascension

LET IT LONE

Let it lone time to turn the page go to the hobby store and buy you some sage, let the pain dissipate, in the fuk shit you don’t have to participate, take that energy and transform it into a tangible entity, the universe will place everything at your feet you don’t have to search for chemistry, it’s easy to lose yourself replaying prior events when you do that you welcome memories of nonsense, I’m not just speaking from an outside view, believe it or not I’ve played the fool a time or two, I’m just trying to give you the cheat code for everything I’ve been through, remember I’ve survived a terrorist and her insurgent crew

FIX ME

How can you fix me if I don’t even know what’s wrong with me myself and I’m not going to the doctor I can handle my own mental health

Every time I break pattern you think it’s because I have something to hide when in actuality I had a lot on my mind and I just needed to ride free my mind focus inside

Apparently you’re never going to forget or forgive about the past, therefore I exercise my right to terminate my contract  and leave this cast, now you can sleep and play those games on your phone the same way you made me want to be which is  alone, arrivederci, adios, I’m leaving this dictatorship situation, you doing all that snooping and didn’t see your friends been waiting on my emancipation

BALL & CHAIN

I love her because she doesn’t except anything but the best from me if she feels like I’m not trying she won’t be complacent with less from me and she doesn’t need me monetarily

From the outside it looks like she’s always riding my back but most times I’m procrastinating and she loves me enough not to go for that

Only the two of us know everything that really transpires, both of us hurt each other pull out cans and fan the fires, sometimes I have too much fun and need a P.O. sometimes I need someone to tell me places not to go, she has a good heart and a nerd like Steve Urkel, luckily she has me to pluck squares out of her circle

Pillow talk and the dreams we share in common fuel the fire our twin flames burn in our soul, we’re on some other other shit which makes us love bold, we say things we don’t mean just to be the one upper, things that make me order out and not eat her supper, everybody loves both of us so they try and intervene, but we’re trying something new conflict resolution over Wintergreen, it’s been working please continue to pray for us, we got this just please stay out the way of us

MAN CHILD

Went to see my boy I haven’t seen in awhile, incarcerated scar face now a man child, facing trial from one mistake made as a juvenile

What’s that conversation like? Sad and cerebral a different part of life, it’s definitely a different world books still your best friend, but you have to turn your spidey sense up to a 10, after you come off your 24-hour lock just play it cool and see where you fit in at in the box

Find peace in yourself before you get off the bluebird, it’s going to be a lot of he said she said but don’t run with the heard, this is where you better yourself try and read every book on the shelf no matter the topic; read books until your eyes roll in the back of your head and say stop it

Everything that is understood doesn’t have to be said and another thing don’t let anyone sit on your bed, we deal with where we are and not where we wish we could be, tighten up that face you’re going to be all right because you’ve got me

THERAPY

I’m nice with a pen it comes from within my whole life I tried to pretend but it comes back again and again

I don’t know how to explain it but over the years I’ve maintained it and retained it and used it for my entertainment

I write love letters from the darkest place on Earth when they get opened  the feeling is love and rebirth tell me your story and I can find your voice but to be honest you really don’t have a choice

When we talk I can feel your spirit it effects my vibe without me having to be near it I don’t hear words I see stanzas so when you read what I write it’s not that random

If I can do that off of a conversation than imagine what I carry from the ones that rely on me for their emancipation

I look at it as a gift and a curse I can articulate pain but it gets much worse a part of the hurt never releases from my soul the gift aspect however is I have books sold without doing what I was told