Tag: #DOUBTEDONE

LIGHT HEADED

Beware of any man that calls himself a king, especially if there is no evidence to be seen, how did you earn your crown and on what battleground, was it hereditary succession or is it time for a confession, do you really deserve the title or is it unprovable like scriptures from the Bible, does the monarchy really exist and for the record a King understands all of this, a great leader lays it all on the line to protect his people, but the line I see behind you is full of sheeple, beware of any man that calls himself king, especially if there is no evidence to be seen

TRUTH OR DARE

When I got bigger than the bullies I became leader of the pack, you whip one kid ass and they see you not going for that, I had kids that used to beat me up breaking in hostess trucks for snacks, power rush..  I think I’m addicted to that

I was beard gang at 15 years old, I used to walk into U-totem to get my beer because it was cold, I used to get my Newports from 7-Eleven though and my XXX magazines, at this point I was trying to show grown ladies moves they never seen

Don’t blame the clerk’s or the women, whoever remember I kept gold coins to go swimming, but what had more effect were those every other weekend visits dwindling, plus relations at 12 gave me the confidence of any man to pick my vices off the shelf, balcony at school I’m such a good planner, that’s the day I became the Hulk and erased Bruce Banner.. virginity story if you’re a slow understander

A lot of the stuff I write you have to read slow and listen fast, more than likely if you don’t understand I’m using an analogy about sex crime or cash, 6 out of 10 times if it’s heartfelt than you know the situation and know I’m not chasing any clout just anticipation, the other four times I’m probably in the 5th dimension wondering about a black owned plantation

#LEXICONKILLER



LEXICON KILLER

My mind drifts and wonders like Stevie when he’s trying to ponder what lies on the other side of darkness out yonder

Conversations on a constant loop perfect form ready for a shot to shoot is it a new script or a reboot it’s a reality show not the goof troop

If I said it then I mean it but I have a tendency to change my mind so if I said it I meant it at that particular time but the future has a tendency of making my thoughts rewind

Coulda shoulda woulda is the wave that I ride it’s a damn shame I took myself through hell for a man to arrive karma is funny because you had to leave for me to be alive I never would have changed if you stayed passive by my side you killed the relationship but I survived through the smoke you can see the Phoenix rise



EMOTIONAL SUICIDE 💔

This rainy weather has me wondering what to do, I swear I’m out here talking like it’s just me and you

My muse is my monster that I created from nights I should have just masturbated

Nights I could have just come home lonely, but it was damn near impossible with all these females on me

I gave in to temptation like a sodomite, two eights make a sixteen and they down to dyke

Instances like that tipped the scale, or when I would be verbally abusive coming home ripped as hell

You can go ahead and leave this is not an abduction, have you ever seen someone’s eyes turn to hate from seduction ?

Those tears turned into laughter and the more she pulled away the more I ran after but I was never fast enough to recapture

The closest I’ve come is love letters and apologies, oh and Poems from The Trap Vol. 1 the anthology

SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE

I’m serving two masters trying to figure out who’s going to win trying to figure out when I’m being real and when I’m playing pretend

Sometimes I do things that I know I shouldn’t but then my mind instantly flashes back to times that I wanted to and I couldn’t

Everyday is a thin line when you’re living in the gray sometimes I forget what side I’m on and it reflects in the things that I say

The devil on my shoulder stays putting in work the angel is a convicted felon and sometimes a jerk

At this particular juncture I’m not sure which way I want the scale to tilt but I do know every time we go left I feel guilt

I got a hot hand I been hitting my point for a minute but if I lean back I can see the gray matter and I’m caught up in it I lean forward I’m happy but I know I’m pretending a day in the life of me that’s where I’m going to end it

THE STOP: LIFE & TIMES OF YA BOY (PART 2)

So I’m in the backseat handcuffs on my wrist, I can still feel em everytime I think about this

At this point I’m getting compliments about my choice of firearm and how it could defeat the armor they had on, I’m like yeah unfortunately that’s gonna be about the eighth one gone, everytime this happen y’all take  one bruh, so I’m guessing my baby eagle gone huh

I just got out from my second one, three months later I catch my third, I’m still on probation for the second one; yeah this is absurd, on to booking we go, if they give me a bond it’ll be high because of my other case, lucky for me I got enough in my pocket to get me, fuk face

Hear the clink in the morning then the bright lights, I’m about to go in front of the monitor and roll the dice, come on hard six not trying to take a cold shower for lice, got a lecture then he put twenty on my head, that’s cool I got over two in property like I previously said

First phonecall I know this number by heart, it’s a dub I got the ten in property go ahead and make the paperwork start, oh and call to see if you can catch my car, they were being difficult said they were taking it out far

Finally twelve hours later I’m back in control, returning missed calls telling a copy of a story I already told, Khalid before Khalid another one, same folks same jurisdiction; this should be fun

LET IT LONE

Let it lone time to turn the page go to the hobby store and buy you some sage, let the pain dissipate, in the fuk shit you don’t have to participate, take that energy and transform it into a tangible entity, the universe will place everything at your feet you don’t have to search for chemistry, it’s easy to lose yourself replaying prior events when you do that you welcome memories of nonsense, I’m not just speaking from an outside view, believe it or not I’ve played the fool a time or two, I’m just trying to give you the cheat code for everything I’ve been through, remember I’ve survived a terrorist and her insurgent crew

FIX ME

How can you fix me if I don’t even know what’s wrong with me myself and I’m not going to the doctor I can handle my own mental health

Every time I break pattern you think it’s because I have something to hide when in actuality I had a lot on my mind and I just needed to ride free my mind focus inside

Apparently you’re never going to forget or forgive about the past, therefore I exercise my right to terminate my contract  and leave this cast, now you can sleep and play those games on your phone the same way you made me want to be which is  alone, arrivederci, adios, I’m leaving this dictatorship situation, you doing all that snooping and didn’t see your friends been waiting on my emancipation

THERAPY

I’m nice with a pen it comes from within my whole life I tried to pretend but it comes back again and again

I don’t know how to explain it but over the years I’ve maintained it and retained it and used it for my entertainment

I write love letters from the darkest place on Earth when they get opened  the feeling is love and rebirth tell me your story and I can find your voice but to be honest you really don’t have a choice

When we talk I can feel your spirit it effects my vibe without me having to be near it I don’t hear words I see stanzas so when you read what I write it’s not that random

If I can do that off of a conversation than imagine what I carry from the ones that rely on me for their emancipation

I look at it as a gift and a curse I can articulate pain but it gets much worse a part of the hurt never releases from my soul the gift aspect however is I have books sold without doing what I was told