Tag: #DIARY

THERAPY

I’m nice with a pen it comes from within my whole life I tried to pretend but it comes back again and again

I don’t know how to explain it but over the years I’ve maintained it and retained it and used it for my entertainment

I write love letters from the darkest place on Earth when they get opened  the feeling is love and rebirth tell me your story and I can find your voice but to be honest you really don’t have a choice

When we talk I can feel your spirit it effects my vibe without me having to be near it I don’t hear words I see stanzas so when you read what I write it’s not that random

If I can do that off of a conversation than imagine what I carry from the ones that rely on me for their emancipation

I look at it as a gift and a curse I can articulate pain but it gets much worse a part of the hurt never releases from my soul the gift aspect however is I have books sold without doing what I was told

MONSTERS OF CIRCUMSTANCE

This was written to go in my second book, but I think the streets need it now. We have to look in the mirror and accept the fact that we played a part.

I pop pills, smoke blunts and drink heavy too, if I do that to me imagine what I’ll do to you, animosity is my comfort zone if it’s between me and you; I’m making it home, roaming the streets looking for the next lick, why should I care? nobody ever gave a shit, pops gone momma can’t afford me, I’m about to catch dude in the Honda Accord B, heard he got stacks all blue faces, cock the pistol tie my shoes laces, I’m a Savage give a fuk about you seeing faces, I’mma let this cannon pop 9 out of ten cases, wait till I get about 3 paces pop, pop, pop, blood in the air I can taste it, I gotta do what I gotta do just face it, if you were I would you trade places? probably not they say I belong in cages, they might be right but I wasn’t born with any Aces ; I got a dick on my Glock so not tonight, I don’t have time to ponder if it’s right, all I know is momma need money for lights

VIRGINIA VENOM

She was born in a small town that she couldn’t wait to get from around

Every man she ever met left her with regrets and she left them with memories they could never forget

Well educated and her family expected the best but she had to find something else to quench the fire in her chest

I love you was the spell that unlocked her inner fears the only time she felt human is when she shed tears

Pain equalled love in her warped universe she never truly believed that a man could put her first

It hurts so good everytime she was proven right she never stayed untill the morning she left with the night

A dream started a sequence of events in that dream she saw a man that made her want to repent

To her surprise he really existed she had to get him she persisted

Victory would be hers no matter what the cost she didn’t realize by chasing him she would be lost

Something she could love that came from her was the ultimate goal neither of them had any idea of the things that were to unfold

A conversation over dinner with the guise of it being a friend he told her if it was him it would definitely end

From that moment she felt he would never accept who she truly was and he had to be destroyed just because

Unbenounced to him he was sleeping with the enemy but now she had something to love he thought would be a remedy

Selfish with her love she snatched it back fast every kind word she ever said was left in the past

The three they were turned into two the only words spoken were fuk you

Virginia Venom left his heart compromised if you ever met her this would come as no surprise

SUNDAY MORNING GLOW

The universe moves to a rhythm the Earth to a beat

That’s why I look so cool when I move my feet

That’s why all super magnificent comes out my mouth when I speak

I can feel the energy when I come in the room

If that energy is bad I leave before my glow gets consumed

The best part is I know that the same exist in you

The only thing I don’t know is why you can’t see it too

A DOCTOR A LAWYER OR SUM

You want me to fix you but I’ll never be enough, I tell you I love you and try to call your bluff, you’re not chasing me you’re chasing a feeling, I live on the edge of tomorrow is the thing that you find appealing but you’re not aware of all the demons that I’m concealing and all the things that’s going to take time for revealing, you’ve never seen when the guns come out or know about kick door when the funds run out, all you have ever seen is what I let you see, I’ve never introduced you to the everything went left me, only reason why I’m keeping it this real is because I know I can’t make decisions based on how I feel, if it was up to me another place another time I know I would definitely do whatever it took to make you mine, but that ain’t this and that ain’t it, I do love you, but I ain’t shit

FUK ON ME

She said she was tired of men trying to fuk on her!! like she’s supposed to be impressed because he can spend a buck on her ??

She likes talking phycology and the phases of the moon; not to mention if you did the math she can afford to buy her own spoon and if you’re gonna do right you better do it soon

She said most men were average and it’s only been a few to unlock her mind and see her intellectual savage, she smokes every now and then; she’ll tell you if you ask she doesn’t see a need to pretend

I could hear the pain in her voice during our conversation, she said it worried her because it seemed like sex was the only thing men were chasing, plus a roof and someone with an occupation, what happened to our generations dedication? ? Sheesh

She said that she was so much more than that, and the only thing she needed was her equal to massage her back, she wanted to go to sleep worry free and not have to wonder if her future was worth living to see, all she wants is to activate the wonder twins and not wonder where that other bracelet has been; but time and time again she finds herself getting fuked on by the enemy and not her best friend, she said because you know you’re my best friend right big head? Yeah diddo to what you just said

She said thanks for listening and not trying to fuk on me.. when you find you’re what I’m looking for.. we’re gonna have to approve her and put all our conversations on speakerphone to soothe her

#LEXICONKILLER

I KNOW RIGHT

Everything I love seems to leave so when I fall in love I start to grieve

Won’t be long now before something I previously did resurfaces; before the love came I was kind of an asshole for all intents and purposes

The things I said before I don’t mean now but the things I said before were so mean and so foul when they cross my mind I’M like WOW

I’ve only seen one relationship make it, so if I saw a chance to stray I would take it, shoot my shot one hand in the air, my jerseys forever in the rafters it’s right there

Plus the odds are we’re not going to last forever, so the feeling of having to make up for lost time I want to feel never, double edge sword I seal my own fate because I feel like it’s already written, when I share this theory the rebuttal is always you gotta be bullshitin

When I fall in love I start to grieve because everything I love I force to leave then I banish everything I love to happy memories on my sleeve and I can look down and smile in times like these

5 A.M.

I wanna wake up next to you and have those early morning conversations, you know the ones when we repeat our life’s affirmations, I want to be next to you as you sleep and be lucky enough to breathe your air, I want you to wake up and catch me in a stare, I want to be your dragon Slayer you know I’m right there, I want this moment to always reset and repeat, the only thing I want to change is the sheets, you made me want to land the jet, you made me have memories I could never forget, you turned a boy into a man and for that reason I will always hold your hand

WHERE IM AT WITH IT

Im at war with God trying to rewrite his words he says one thing I do what I prefer, fork in the road I go straight; at least that way it’s a 50/50 fate, I have more victories than I have losses, I can politic with the masses and converse with bosses; but that’s the part I’m trying to rewrite I’m trying to get them all to see they’re bosses in their own rite, I hope my words reach someone and inspires them to be better than I have, if I made it through they can definitely withstand the wrath, keep your head up redemption is closer than you think, keep your head up no matter what you can’t sink, keep your head up never hit the ground, keep your head up you can’t tip the crown, keep your head up the babies looking up, keep your head up, it’s a half full cup