A.D.H.C

Sitting here reciting barz looking at cars checking the price of acoustic guitars looking at the moon staring at the stars thinking about this world that was supposed to be ours
Oh word the guitars not even that much and I want a car with a dual clutch the moon looks brighter close enough to touch I wonder if you’re happy with such and such
I could start a rock band and call it child support at least that way they wouldn’t have to impute my income when I go to court I may even be able to drink rose’ and not port build a house not rent a fort drive a coupe’ of some sort stargaze from a resort not somewhere as a resort but nah I gotta kiss some converse but hey you have to be with you so it could be worse

AND THIS ONE EXPLAINS HOW THOSE TOPICS JUMP FROM ONE END OF A SPECTRUM TO THE OTHER 🤔✍🏾✍🏾✍🏾

MORNING THOUGHTS

Cee V.S. Nova will he get it together before his time is over one disgruntled co conceiver and a bunch of non believers
Double edge sword when it comes to potential will something catch fire before he crosses a line that’s too consequential
It’s a on going war in his mental and only few can understand what he’s been through a charge here a charge there 21 page pre sentencing report charges everywhere
Cee just wants to be a father and make a better way Nova like nah get the band back together it’s time to play Cee just got his child after a 8 year war Nova mad because it cost the whole safe and a little more
Two voices entangled in the 5th dimension this is a daily conversation in my head if I forgot to mention you have a angel and a devil I have a aspiring role model and a D-boy on my shoulder only thing that’s certain is that the winters coming and we about to get colder

MY SONSHINE

All I do all day is think about you and check your school app to see how your day is going, don’t ever let anyone tell you I don’t care or I’m not there, because that would be deceit their showing, you are my family my superhero my saving grace, I look so forward to every other weekend daddy gets ninja focused when I see your face, thinking about leaving you a legacy and not a lease, which means I have to get to it and use a little more elbow grease, things started off rocky but we still climbing to the top, and what daddy tell you we gonna make it because we never stop

DWB=PTSD

Dear Mr officer I’m just trying to make it home I haven’t been smoking in the car sir that’s just my cologne I just left a meeting about something that’s gonna change my life I have a fiance sir I’m looking forward to seeing my wife

Yeah ok license & registration real slow please & do you have any weapons on you I need to know

Well yes sir I have a handgun under the seat but I didn’t have a chance to pull it out and I didn’t want to reach plus you pulled me over as soon as I came out the parking lot I didn’t think I did anything wrong I’m just trying not to get shot

NO SUDDEN MOVES PUT YOUR HANDS OUT THE WINDOW & IM GOING TO SHOOT YOU IF ALL THAT MOVING CONTINUE

sir you asked for my info before you asked about the gun I was halfway out the glove box when you asked about one if I was gonna shoot you I had the drop ..

WATCH YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU TALK TO A COP 10-32 OH MY GOD HE’S REACHING FOR SOMETHING

I can’t believe they just shot me I was actually in the right its been a great day I thought it would carry over into a great night all I did wrong was try to explain myself keep your eyes open God please send help I changed I had a whole life to look forward too now I’m in a coma about to die in ICU they probably will get off & I’ll get no justice just us sounds nice as a Battle cry but I’m just me in this bed about to die

CUSTODY


You don’t want me to be there but then you blame me when I’m not when in actuality I would give you everything that I got 
I did a lot of things I’ve had to repent for but who wants to be duke when you could be Serpentor dear father protect me from myself whole time the bible sitting dusty on the shelf 
Stop drinking stop smoking but I’m hooked on love no rehab from the most powerful drug I wrote this shit at four o’clock in the morning insomnia strikes slow without a warning random thoughts that I can’t get off my mind about my son and the answers that I can’t find why was my epiphany so late and how long can I last at this rate but no matter what happens I’m to blame for my fate 


MENTAL HEALTH

When I die fuk it I wanna go to hell, Cee nova a piece of shit it hard to fukin tell, it don’t make sense goin to heaven with the lame-oids, fuk that shit I’m in line with all my homeboys, I’m getting tired with life here on earth and it only got worse, with my son birth, he 16 months ain’t seen him since 5, and his other creator upset because I’m still alive, (spinning of revolver click) she held me down whole time In the bing, I got released & started hitting everything, all of my life I been considered as the worse, momma goin to sleep had to hide her fukin purse, pops won’t there because I thought he didn’t care, the day before he died he looked me in my eyes, did some research pops won’t a jerk, history repeats itself, same way it happened to him in the past I’m getting put on a shelf , (spinning of revolver click) the walls of my empire falling apart everywhere I look, I gotta go see the judge I wanna end the book(CEE TALK TO ME PLEASE) it’s sort of like Willie Dynamite at the end, walking down the street with no fukin friends, everybody say pray, and I just say ok, but what’s the sense in that when I’ma end it all today, anything you can salvage from my estate go to my son, tell him daddy loved him even though he don’t know me haven’t held him since day one, I’m sick of all the broads lying I’m sick of dudes hating.. Matter of fact, why the fuk I’m waiting(spinning of revolver bang)
MENTAL HEALTH IS A SERIOUS ISSUE IN THE AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY. I WROTE THIS IN PROBABLY ABOUT 2012. LUCKILY THIS IS JUST A INTERPOLATION OF THE LATE GREAT NOTORIOUS B.I.G. SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. I WAS THERE IF I COULD RELATE ENOUGH TO WRITE THIS. REMEMBER GOD COMES TO PICK YOU UP WHEN HE NEEDS YOU DON’T HAVE TO CATCH A RIDE. BEFORE YOU CALL THAT RIDE CALL THIS NUMBER FOR A BETTER RIDE
1-800-273-8255