SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE

I’m serving two masters trying to figure out who’s going to win trying to figure out when I’m being real and when I’m playing pretend

Sometimes I do things that I know I shouldn’t but then my mind instantly flashes back to times that I wanted to and I couldn’t

Everyday is a thin line when you’re living in the gray sometimes I forget what side I’m on and it reflects in the things that I say

The devil on my shoulder stays putting in work the angel is a convicted felon and sometimes a jerk

At this particular juncture I’m not sure which way I want the scale to tilt but I do know every time we go left I feel guilt

I got a hot hand I been hitting my point for a minute but if I lean back I can see the gray matter and I’m caught up in it I lean forward I’m happy but I know I’m pretending a day in the life of me that’s where I’m going to end it

THE STOP: LIFE & TIMES OF YA BOY (PART 2)

So I’m in the backseat handcuffs on my wrist, I can still feel em everytime I think about this

At this point I’m getting compliments about my choice of firearm and how it could defeat the armor they had on, I’m like yeah unfortunately that’s gonna be about the eighth one gone, everytime this happen y’all take one bruh, so I’m guessing my baby eagle gone huh

I just got out from my second one, three months later I catch my third, I’m still on probation for the second one; yeah this is absurd, on to booking we go, if they give me a bond it’ll be high because of my other case, lucky for me I got enough in my pocket to get me, fuk face

Hear the clink in the morning then the bright lights, I’m about to go in front of the monitor and roll the dice, come on hard six not trying to take a cold shower for lice, got a lecture then he put twenty on my head, that’s cool I got over two in property like I previously said

First phonecall I know this number by heart, it’s a dub I got the ten in property go ahead and make the paperwork start, oh and call to see if you can catch my car, they were being difficult said they were taking it out far

Finally twelve hours later I’m back in control, returning missed calls telling a copy of a story I already told, Khalid before Khalid another one, same folks same jurisdiction; this should be fun

THE STOP: LIFE & TIMES OF YA BOY (PART 1)

So I hop in the car throw the food in the seat, put my seatbelt on and Gucci Mane on repeat, I pulled out the parking lot took a right, saw a car come from out of nowhere in my peripheral sight

I got to the stop sign make sure I make a complete stop just in case it is a sheriff or a city cop, ease off, so far things going my way; that’s all until I hit the signal to freedom to get on the highway

BOOM!! there it is they light me up, I pull over slow to drink this goose I had in a cup, FUK!! I got a salary on me, my smoke pack, and a 40 caliber eagle under the seat with black talons in it by my feet, look in the rearview I’m counting seven sets of lights on me, yep it’s apparent you’re going in tonight homey

One comes to the window with a shakey pistol damn near shoot my ass, I know the drill left hand throw keys out the window fast, sir I have a gun under the seat I didn’t want to pull it in plain view, but hold up wait a minute.. I know you..?? I’m out on bond now braah you made it two

CONGRATULATIONS super cop now you got me on two, nah no need to take a test I’ll wait on my lawyer I think that would be best, and can you please put your pistol at rest I’m nervous that you’re nervous and pointing at my chest

FIX ME

How can you fix me if I don’t even know what’s wrong with me myself and I’m not going to the doctor I can handle my own mental health

Every time I break pattern you think it’s because I have something to hide when in actuality I had a lot on my mind and I just needed to ride free my mind focus inside

Apparently you’re never going to forget or forgive about the past, therefore I exercise my right to terminate my contract and leave this cast, now you can sleep and play those games on your phone the same way you made me want to be which is alone, arrivederci, adios, I’m leaving this dictatorship situation, you doing all that snooping and didn’t see your friends been waiting on my emancipation

MAN CHILD

Went to see my boy I haven’t seen in awhile, incarcerated scar face now a man child, facing trial from one mistake made as a juvenile

What’s that conversation like? Sad and cerebral a different part of life, it’s definitely a different world books still your best friend, but you have to turn your spidey sense up to a 10, after you come off your 24-hour lock just play it cool and see where you fit in at in the box

Find peace in yourself before you get off the bluebird, it’s going to be a lot of he said she said but don’t run with the heard, this is where you better yourself try and read every book on the shelf no matter the topic; read books until your eyes roll in the back of your head and say stop it

Everything that is understood doesn’t have to be said and another thing don’t let anyone sit on your bed, we deal with where we are and not where we wish we could be, tighten up that face you’re going to be all right because you’ve got me

THERAPY

I’m nice with a pen it comes from within my whole life I tried to pretend but it comes back again and again

I don’t know how to explain it but over the years I’ve maintained it and retained it and used it for my entertainment

I write love letters from the darkest place on Earth when they get opened the feeling is love and rebirth tell me your story and I can find your voice but to be honest you really don’t have a choice

When we talk I can feel your spirit it effects my vibe without me having to be near it I don’t hear words I see stanzas so when you read what I write it’s not that random

If I can do that off of a conversation than imagine what I carry from the ones that rely on me for their emancipation

I look at it as a gift and a curse I can articulate pain but it gets much worse a part of the hurt never releases from my soul the gift aspect however is I have books sold without doing what I was told

MONSTERS OF CIRCUMSTANCE

This was written to go in my second book, but I think the streets need it now. We have to look in the mirror and accept the fact that we played a part.

I pop pills, smoke blunts and drink heavy too, if I do that to me imagine what I’ll do to you, animosity is my comfort zone if it’s between me and you; I’m making it home, roaming the streets looking for the next lick, why should I care? nobody ever gave a shit, pops gone momma can’t afford me, I’m about to catch dude in the Honda Accord B, heard he got stacks all blue faces, cock the pistol tie my shoes laces, I’m a Savage give a fuk about you seeing faces, I’mma let this cannon pop 9 out of ten cases, wait till I get about 3 paces pop, pop, pop, blood in the air I can taste it, I gotta do what I gotta do just face it, if you were I would you trade places? probably not they say I belong in cages, they might be right but I wasn’t born with any Aces ; I got a dick on my Glock so not tonight, I don’t have time to ponder if it’s right, all I know is momma need money for lights

SUNDAY MORNING GLOW

The universe moves to a rhythm the Earth to a beat

That’s why I look so cool when I move my feet

That’s why all super magnificent comes out my mouth when I speak

I can feel the energy when I come in the room

If that energy is bad I leave before my glow gets consumed

The best part is I know that the same exist in you

The only thing I don’t know is why you can’t see it too

FUK ON ME

She said she was tired of men trying to fuk on her!! like she’s supposed to be impressed because he can spend a buck on her ??

She likes talking phycology and the phases of the moon; not to mention if you did the math she can afford to buy her own spoon and if you’re gonna do right you better do it soon

She said most men were average and it’s only been a few to unlock her mind and see her intellectual savage, she smokes every now and then; she’ll tell you if you ask she doesn’t see a need to pretend

I could hear the pain in her voice during our conversation, she said it worried her because it seemed like sex was the only thing men were chasing, plus a roof and someone with an occupation, what happened to our generations dedication? ? Sheesh

She said that she was so much more than that, and the only thing she needed was her equal to massage her back, she wanted to go to sleep worry free and not have to wonder if her future was worth living to see, all she wants is to activate the wonder twins and not wonder where that other bracelet has been; but time and time again she finds herself getting fuked on by the enemy and not her best friend, she said because you know you’re my best friend right big head? Yeah diddo to what you just said

She said thanks for listening and not trying to fuk on me.. when you find you’re what I’m looking for.. we’re gonna have to approve her and put all our conversations on speakerphone to soothe her

#LEXICONKILLER

I KNOW RIGHT

Everything I love seems to leave so when I fall in love I start to grieve

Won’t be long now before something I previously did resurfaces; before the love came I was kind of an asshole for all intents and purposes

The things I said before I don’t mean now but the things I said before were so mean and so foul when they cross my mind I’M like WOW

I’ve only seen one relationship make it, so if I saw a chance to stray I would take it, shoot my shot one hand in the air, my jerseys forever in the rafters it’s right there

Plus the odds are we’re not going to last forever, so the feeling of having to make up for lost time I want to feel never, double edge sword I seal my own fate because I feel like it’s already written, when I share this theory the rebuttal is always you gotta be bullshitin

When I fall in love I start to grieve because everything I love I force to leave then I banish everything I love to happy memories on my sleeve and I can look down and smile in times like these