THE STOP: LIFE & TIMES OF YA BOY (PART 1)

So I hop in the car throw the food in the seat, put my seatbelt on and Gucci Mane on repeat, I pulled out the parking lot took a right, saw a car come from out of  nowhere in my peripheral sight

I got to the stop sign make sure I make a complete stop just in case it is a sheriff or a city cop, ease off, so far things going my way; that’s all until I hit the signal to freedom to get on the highway

BOOM!! there it is they light me up, I pull over slow to drink this goose I had in a cup, FUK!! I got a salary on me, my smoke pack, and a 40 caliber eagle under the seat with black talons in it by my feet, look in the rearview I’m counting seven sets of lights on me, yep it’s apparent you’re going in tonight homey

One comes to the window with a shakey pistol damn near shoot my ass, I know the drill left hand throw keys out the window fast, sir I have a gun under the seat I didn’t want to pull it in plain view, but hold up wait a minute.. I know you..?? I’m out on bond now braah you made it two

CONGRATULATIONS super cop now you got me on two, nah no need to take a test I’ll wait on my lawyer I think that would be best, and can you please put your pistol at rest I’m nervous that you’re nervous and pointing at my chest

LET IT LONE

Let it lone time to turn the page go to the hobby store and buy you some sage, let the pain dissipate, in the fuk shit you don’t have to participate, take that energy and transform it into a tangible entity, the universe will place everything at your feet you don’t have to search for chemistry, it’s easy to lose yourself replaying prior events when you do that you welcome memories of nonsense, I’m not just speaking from an outside view, believe it or not I’ve played the fool a time or two, I’m just trying to give you the cheat code for everything I’ve been through, remember I’ve survived a terrorist and her insurgent crew

IGNORANCE IS BLISS

Crime pays just not on the bottom floor you have to go past the Plug the CEO makes way more, privatized jails dispensaries and Payday loans on every block; while your check gets garnished before you can even grocery shop, I can’t do certain things to feed my family, but you do those exact things? to me that’s the definition of insanity, everyday black men are being radicalized you’re turning us into super predators as we were once categorized, you made black women not need us and become independent, whole time I can’t get a job!! I owe child support so my license is suspended, her earning potential is way higher than mine unless I pull out the plow and hit the streets, but as we all know instant gratification is usually bitter sweet, stuck between a rock and a hard place a whammy and a ace,  then I see myself in the mirror face to face

You’re so strong that they systemically try to destroy you, just vibe at the right frequency and the universe will employ you, vibe so high that the universe spoils you, and once you conquer this life to the next it will deploy you

FIX ME

How can you fix me if I don’t even know what’s wrong with me myself and I’m not going to the doctor I can handle my own mental health

Every time I break pattern you think it’s because I have something to hide when in actuality I had a lot on my mind and I just needed to ride free my mind focus inside

Apparently you’re never going to forget or forgive about the past, therefore I exercise my right to terminate my contract  and leave this cast, now you can sleep and play those games on your phone the same way you made me want to be which is  alone, arrivederci, adios, I’m leaving this dictatorship situation, you doing all that snooping and didn’t see your friends been waiting on my emancipation

BALL & CHAIN

I love her because she doesn’t except anything but the best from me if she feels like I’m not trying she won’t be complacent with less from me and she doesn’t need me monetarily

From the outside it looks like she’s always riding my back but most times I’m procrastinating and she loves me enough not to go for that

Only the two of us know everything that really transpires, both of us hurt each other pull out cans and fan the fires, sometimes I have too much fun and need a P.O. sometimes I need someone to tell me places not to go, she has a good heart and a nerd like Steve Urkel, luckily she has me to pluck squares out of her circle

Pillow talk and the dreams we share in common fuel the fire our twin flames burn in our soul, we’re on some other other shit which makes us love bold, we say things we don’t mean just to be the one upper, things that make me order out and not eat her supper, everybody loves both of us so they try and intervene, but we’re trying something new conflict resolution over Wintergreen, it’s been working please continue to pray for us, we got this just please stay out the way of us

MAN CHILD

Went to see my boy I haven’t seen in awhile, incarcerated scar face now a man child, facing trial from one mistake made as a juvenile

What’s that conversation like? Sad and cerebral a different part of life, it’s definitely a different world books still your best friend, but you have to turn your spidey sense up to a 10, after you come off your 24-hour lock just play it cool and see where you fit in at in the box

Find peace in yourself before you get off the bluebird, it’s going to be a lot of he said she said but don’t run with the heard, this is where you better yourself try and read every book on the shelf no matter the topic; read books until your eyes roll in the back of your head and say stop it

Everything that is understood doesn’t have to be said and another thing don’t let anyone sit on your bed, we deal with where we are and not where we wish we could be, tighten up that face you’re going to be all right because you’ve got me

THERAPY

I’m nice with a pen it comes from within my whole life I tried to pretend but it comes back again and again

I don’t know how to explain it but over the years I’ve maintained it and retained it and used it for my entertainment

I write love letters from the darkest place on Earth when they get opened  the feeling is love and rebirth tell me your story and I can find your voice but to be honest you really don’t have a choice

When we talk I can feel your spirit it effects my vibe without me having to be near it I don’t hear words I see stanzas so when you read what I write it’s not that random

If I can do that off of a conversation than imagine what I carry from the ones that rely on me for their emancipation

I look at it as a gift and a curse I can articulate pain but it gets much worse a part of the hurt never releases from my soul the gift aspect however is I have books sold without doing what I was told

HE SAID YES

Nothing corrupts like power, that’s why most times before I go home I have to take a shower, I only do what I do because I can and it has nothing to do with the fact I’m a man, she has a significant other and she pays every bill; again that’s power to allow her to come and go at will, we both know it’s wrong and from time to time we joke about it, that’s when things get serious and we smoke up out it, in my defense you proposed to me, I didn’t want to embarrass you I only promise to try to be what you wanted me to be; and now you got me breaking guy code trying to get you to see, it’s not you or me it’s ease and access intervening in our destiny, when I fall off the horse I hop right back on it, but remember for this marriage you were the only proponent

MONSTERS OF CIRCUMSTANCE

This was written to go in my second book, but I think the streets need it now. We have to look in the mirror and accept the fact that we played a part.

I pop pills, smoke blunts and drink heavy too, if I do that to me imagine what I’ll do to you, animosity is my comfort zone if it’s between me and you; I’m making it home, roaming the streets looking for the next lick, why should I care? nobody ever gave a shit, pops gone momma can’t afford me, I’m about to catch dude in the Honda Accord B, heard he got stacks all blue faces, cock the pistol tie my shoes laces, I’m a Savage give a fuk about you seeing faces, I’mma let this cannon pop 9 out of ten cases, wait till I get about 3 paces pop, pop, pop, blood in the air I can taste it, I gotta do what I gotta do just face it, if you were I would you trade places? probably not they say I belong in cages, they might be right but I wasn’t born with any Aces ; I got a dick on my Glock so not tonight, I don’t have time to ponder if it’s right, all I know is momma need money for lights

UNDERTONE

I have an affinity for red women that harbor aggression, I find them to be teachers of life’s lessons, forks in the road at certain intersections, a road map of no certain direction a constant source of mental erections, forget the heart on your sleeve you need a blood pressure monitor I think your blood is boiling because you’re red as a thermometer, expressions don’t get held well, in my mind I can literally hear you telling me to go to hell, I can read your face that’s why I know the right response, give me a second and I’ll say something that came out the Renaissance, the path of least resistance, the road I travel with persistence, I’m trying to save you so you can save us, come tell me your desires and hush that fuss, I have an affinity for red women that harbor aggression, you don’t have to ask consider this my confession